Not Coping

[ENKELI]

@Birdofparadise8 

 Her name is Laura. Such a pretty name.

I think those points KHL have given you are really good. Being a people pleader is exhausting and gets harder as you get older because people put more on to you. It took me forever to learn how to say no to people, especially my mum. She disapproved of me every time I said no to her that I ended up going along with her and felt miserable half the time.

Building confidence and emotional regulation are 2 really good things to work on. Confidence is something we all need and we feel much better when we are confident in ourselves. 

[Birdofparadise8]

Aww, how sweet of you @ENKELI. It definitely is a lovely name. 

Aww how beautiful. Do they have to stay outside?

Yeah, it really is hard. How have you worked on it? 

Yeah she said if I am confident it myself and the skills I have to cope on my own I should become less dependent. It will take time, though. I don't think it's something that will be fixed by October. 

It really made me cry this morning. I was googling about not coping with psych being away on Reddit. i got very upset over it. I know rationally he needs time away, etc., but the emotional part of me is really hurt and scared. 

WHat are you having for dinner? I have made beef massaman curry with coconut rice. 

[ENKELI]

@Birdofparadise8 they are outdoor plants and this one can grow to 6 metres. I want to get a nice pot for her, I couldn't find one today.

I am still working on people pleasing. I think I always will. I don't know, I think females are programmed to people please. I do say no more often than I used to, it's a work in progress. 

You have a lifetime of hurt to recover from so there's no way you will be better by October.

I think your psych really needs to step up and be teaching you coping strategies and how to become independent. It seems to me that he's not really doing anything except talk to you each week. 

Of course that is only my opinion so please don't take my words as gospel. 

Your journey is different to mine, I just want to see you get better.

[Birdofparadise8]

Ah yes okay. I'd like to get one, but I'll wait and see if I move at the end of the year. 

That's a good idea. It will be nice to see her grow. Keep me updated when she flowers. Do you know how long that takes? 

Yeah, that's why I'm worried when my psych goes on leave. I just don't know how I can get past it. 

What kind of coping strategies would you think of? I already listen to music, meditate, read, do uni work, go for a walk, do breathing exercises, cook, bake, etc. 

Are you referring to being independent in general or just regarding us working together? 

All good @ENKELI I like having another opinion it helps me. 

Thank you. I want that for you, too. 

[ENKELI]

@Birdofparadise8 BoP are outdoor plants, they prefer full sun and grow quite big. I always check out what the plant needs and whether it's an indoor or outdoor plant before buying it. 

I'll keep you updated on her progress 🥰

She will flower in spring/summer but probably not for a year or 2 because they are slow growing. I want her flowering now!

My coping strategies are pretty much the same as yours, as well as medication for when my anxiety is really high. And I also try to spend time in prayer, which I guess would be like meditation. 

One thing I would suggest is to try and stop worrying so much about future issues. 

It's taken me a while but I've learnt to not worry about the future. Right now I have no idea if/when I'll get another job. I used to panic and stress and make myself si*ck with worry. Now I take deep breaths and tell myself it's okay, I can't change the future and worrying about what I can't change will only make me sick. It's okay, you will get through this.

Independent of your psych. You already are independent, living away from home and managing your daily life. You are an amazing girl my princess, I wish you could see what I do 🫂 🤗 💙

[Birdofparadise8]

Ah, yes, I had a Google. They can grow big. Sounds good. 

Ah, okay, it sounds like the same as fig trees they take years to fruit. 

Well, hopefully, I can get something to help with that. 

Nausea is the worst anxiety that can really make you unwell. 

Thank you @ENKELI. 

Maybe I need to toughen up and not let things get to me so much. 

[ENKELI]

@Birdofparadise8I think you are a gentle soul and do need to harden up but that in itself is difficult to just do. You can't just care one day and not the next. 

You might want to ask your psych to help you with that too. 

Remember that it takes time to change your way of thinking and how you react. 

The softest of people are usually the ones with the most scars.

Still trying to decide what to have for dinner!

[Birdofparadise8]

That is true. LOL, another thing on my list to ask my psych about is 

Hahha, what do you have at home? 

Do you use Office 365 much? @ENKELI 

[ENKELI]

@Birdofparadise8 I have some mince in the fridge, plus some chicken sausages. I might do a shepherds pie. Dinner will be late!

I use Office 365 regularly, why is that sweetie?

[Birdofparadise8]

That will be late, lol @ENKELI 

Oh, I'm just trying to work something out on my Outlook email. 

And Excel is so annoying. I'm trying to do a graph. 

Do you know how to change the words where it says series?