I can’t cope

[Captain24]

Thank you for helping me through this. @Jynx. I googled and I have taken the recommended dose. I don’t have a Pdoc. Comm health has one bug they haven’t made me an appointment with her since January. 

Thank you for seeing it as the icing on the cake. I feel validated.

They are both sleeping now. Maybe Pix can sense it.

I hope you have a good night. 

Thank you for holding space for me. I’m feeling a tiny little bit less distressed. My heart is still racing and I’m still shaking but know now that I wouldn’t hurt my dogs. It doesn’t matter how cranky they make me. 

Please don’t think I would have actually hurt them. 

[Jynx]

@Captain24 you are so welcome, I am really glad I was able to be here with you hun. And no don't worry, the thought of you actually hurting them never crossed my mind. That's how frustration can come out sometimes, with intensity that matches the emotions, even if we'd never dream of acting on it. 

I hope tomorrow is easier on you, and that your meeting tomorrow doesn't bore you to tears 😅

Nighty night darlin, catch you next week 🫂😊💜

[Captain24]

I hope you know how much you’re appreciated @Jynx 

[Captain24]

Again they won’t stop barking. I don’t know if it’s more than usual or whether I don’t have the patience for them. They won’t give up. I can’t take it. It’s making me angry, aggravated, frustrated. I’ve had enough of them. 

[Captain24]

T/W sh talk

I’ve just made a huge achievement, I have washed the floor for the first time since I left hospital. 

I have 2 things left on my list that I want to get done this break so that’s good , other than weed my garden but I'm not doing that. 

The dogs still won’t stop. It’s driving me insane and I’m already insane. 

I would never ever hurt them but I do feel as though someone needs to hurt. Maybe it would help calm me down but it’s not the answer. 

[Captain24]

I’ve just been to a black fella meeting. It was hard to sit through. There was others there. I don’t people. I had to talk. I’m back on the board of directors. 

I didn’t miss my dogs while I was out. Normally I’m in a hurry to get home to them. I walked back into the constant barking. 

I can’t hold off much longer. It’s really doing my head in. 

[Captain24]

They have finally stopped barking. My distress levels are lessening. 

I am exhausted though. I have nothing left to give.

[Captain24]

I spoke too soon. They are at it again. 

Im sorry.. this is the only place I feel safe enough to vent. I know I’m being annoying. But my distress is really high. My thoughts are so bad. Not much will push me right over the edge. 

[Captain24]

The distress just got too much. 😢 

[tyme]

Barking mad dogs @Captain24 ?

Good to see you?