@Dreamy
I sent this to Jehoram last week
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I'm going to be blatantly honest, I don't know how else to be in this.
My mind works better in a framework when I'm distressed, so I'm going to use dot points to help me organise my thoughts.
- I saw this coming, that I'd given up asking the deacons for help because it didn't feel like it amounted to anything, except making me more upset.
- I had asked Joash immediately, asking him to come with me to talk to them because I was incredibly overwhelmed and distressed.
- The staff there had treated me horribly, like an idiot female that knew nothing about cars and was stupid enough to be homeless and have my car broken into.
- And I understand that you may have a different definition of homeless to me, as you said one Sunday last year that I have a roof over my head, I'm not homeless.
- A home isn't just a roof though, it's a place that is stable, where I can be unashamedly me, a place I feel safe.
- They treated me differently because of my situation and my gender and so I thought having a male come with me, they would be more honest with them than they were with me.
- Joash said every week I asked that he didn't have time, delaying it for months rather than being honest with me from the beginning.
- I felt he was stretched too thin and it wasn't that he didn't care, he just said yes too much and exceeded his capacity to help and unfortunately I was the person easiest to let down.
- I am not looking to complain, I'm looking to understand the invoice.
- I am asking for the same thing now as I did Joash back then, someone to come in with me to help me understand as I know I get short with people when I'm distressed or overwhelmed.
In terms of my car, I'm not letting them anywhere near her, they left different parts loose that was causing my car to refuse to idle because it messed with the air intake valve.
- They didn't apply the dye to test the air conditioning in order to identify any leaks.
- They left it out on the verge in front of the service station with a broken window
- Their advertising says free wash and vacuum with every service.
- They left my car seat covered in glass because my car was "too full to vacuum".
- They didn't wash it either because of the broken window.
- I cleaned what I could with a dustpan and brush in front of them with no offer to help.
- My honest conclusion is they make a point to treat their male clientele with respect and courtesy and that in a male dominated field, that women don't know what they're talking about.
- There is no way I'm letting them service my car ever again because from my experience, they discriminate and do a shoddy job.
- Once I understand the invoice I can take it to a mechanic I trust to go over it and tell me if they did what they said they did.
Well at least I've moved from tears to anger.
I understand the need to respect the office Joash held and that he did a lot for me, I don't deny that. But I also know that the damage from that period of time is going to take a lot longer for me to move past because of the invalidation of what went wrong with Delilah and the refusal to take concrete action.
Me trusting you is a step in the right direction, it shows that I'm looking to heal, to overcome and restore and build upon the relationships I have at church.
I'm going to leave it there before I burst into tears again.
