Friendship

[Nez]

Ok I have a very long story but will keep it short and sweet..  I have a friend.. who wanted it to be more.. . I said we can only be friends cause I am married.... But I didn't want to loose the friendship cause it was sooo good... We talked 2 hrs a night every night.. plus every morning... Multiple times a day.. my husband doesn't talk ignored I exist.. and when this was male friend came into my life he said Do what you ant.. I don't care..he had no problem with him hanging out at our house..his house whatever.. we are married but been in seperate beds for 5 yrs.. well this other guy got under my skin and I feel in love with him.. but then the drama started. The local community didn't like it.. my mum def didn't approve.. so I tried really hard to love my husband jumped back into bed with him

• .but every time he pissed me off I would go back to talking to this other guy.. the other guys seperated wife... In different houses .. then found out what was going on and she hit the roof. She took his kid off him till he got rid of me as in they used to do i week on 1 week off.. well after 3 months of him living with his mum only.. he got access back.. I got blocked.. but not really.. you see there is a house phone.. and we are back o. Talking every night..  but this guy runs hot and cold.. and I am not sure he actually even likes me sometimes.. so I asked the question.. why do you still ring me even though you are not supposed to.. well I got an honest answer... Because I am scared what you might say about me to other people if we stopped talking... Now I know it sounds simply on paper.. I should divorce my husband we are not in love and pretty much ignore each other.. but there is 2 kids involved and my mother would disown me because we are Christian and she didn't hold a shotgun to my head and forcer to marry him.. I did and that's it.. I committed there is no way out.. also sticks and stones will break your bones.. words can never hurt you.. he doesn't hit you.. so he is not abusive.. as for the other guy he doesn't really like me either and it's about time I was respectful to myself Nd stopped talking to him.. but what a lonely world that would be as I got used to having someone to talk to.. even tho some convos are better then others
• .I have never found anyone i.could connect with like this before .. I thought he felt the same way. Because he said it In the past.. and I thought he must have some feeling to always ring me back. When he should just block me for his kids sake.. but how do I approach this response of I talk to you because I am worried what you will say.. it was followed with a I am worried what you might do to yourself.. ie self harm if I stopped talking to you  followed by I do care about you.. I then told him he was off the hook and we didn't need to talk anymore he said no that's not what he wants.. but that was 4 days ago.. he text me the next day said he has the kid with him.. so I guess I just wait now???

.l

[tyme]

Hey @Nez ,

Sounds like a lot is happening for you. I can see how confusing it is. Whilst I'm in no way able to provide you with advice, I want you to feel validated and know that your thoughts and feelings are real. 

I can also see that your (or your parent's faith) has a lot to do with it. I'm mindful that feelings and emotions change. When things are tough, as humans, we gravitate towards those who can support us and provide us with that sense of love and connection. 

I'm also mindful that children are involved which can make it a lot more complicated.

I hope you find a way through all of this and you ultimately do what is right for all of you.

I hear these challenges.

We are here to support you. Thank you so much for taking the time to share and open up about what you are going through at the moment. It takes a lot of strength and courage to do this.