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[HealingJourney]

I have Type 1 Bipolar and over the past 12 months I've gained weight [edited by moderator] from my meds. I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed as I feel like I have no control over my changing body. Today I saw in my doctor's notes that they classify me as obese. I'm an active person, I eat a vegetarian diet and don't drink or smoke. I felt so ashamed reading that and cried half the day. I'm a fairly body neutral person most of the time but it's hard not knowing when these changes will stop and knowing I can't come off my meds. Anyone have experience with this issue? How do you stay positive and focussed on recovery when you feel physically uncomfortable and ashamed?

[rav3n]

Hey there @HealingJourney I'm so sorry to hear that you're feeling uncomfortable with those recent changes that have occurred for you. 

It can be really hard when medications impact your weight, and it's totally understandable that seeing the doctor's note would be distressing to read - it's important to remember that these are clinical terms that do NOT reflect your worth or your efforts - you're value is never defined by a label or a number on a scale. 

I haven't experienced the same situation as you, but I have dealt with body image related issues - i think accepting that bodies change was a big one that helped (and did take some time to accept too). Throughout our life, our bodies change for multiple reasons such as due to medical reasons, hormones, pregnancy, accidents, injuries, ageing, stress, etc. Our physical body is so important in providing us with functions that helps us move around, talk to people, make decisions, etc - and that's what matters most, not the appearance/weight but being able to use our bodies everyday to do the things we love. I know it is much easier said then done, but with practice (by reminding myself whenever i feel ashamed - e.g. if i feel uncomfortable with my arms, I'll tell myself that my arms have helped me build things, write things and carry this - and I'm grateful to have it) it has helped me feel more and more comfortable in my skin. Those labels will change, and it looks like you've worked hard to maintain a healthy lifestyle so seeing those terms used can definitely be scary - but it's not a permanent label and doesn't take away from your value. Have you spoken to your gp or psychiatrist about how the medication side-effects are impacting you? Definitely worth bringing this with them, they'd be able to provide you further information and support. Regardless, we're here for you - you're not alone here 💗

[MJG017]

Hi @HealingJourney, welcome to the forum.  I had the same thing, being told I was classified as obese.  I was overweight sure, but the term obese seemed a bit overboard.  Looking into it, I found out that obese just means you BMI is over 30.  More reading found a lot of controversy as to how reliable a guide BMI really is.  Some saying waist to height ration is far better.  For example BMI doesn't take into account muscle vs fat body content. So a 6 ft 2 in tall 112Kg incredibly muscle bound wrestler would be classified as obese as well. That body size is quite common for a wrestler. Like wise a 6ft tall sprinter weighing 90kg would be classed as overweight.  Both would have waist circumferences classified as okay.

Now i'm not saying you are an olympic athlete or a profession wrestler, but it's just 2 examples of how unreliable BMI can be.  Added to that, a 'normal' person doesn't need to be that overweight to have a BMI of 30 and be labeled obese.  It really is a terrible term, but in reality it just means your BMI is over 30 so the chart calls that obese.

Early last year I started hormone therapy for prostate cancer and one of the side effects of this is weight gain and loss of muscle mass.  Since I needed this drug and was never going to be able to stop taking it, it just made me take my health a bit more seriously and just tried a little bit harder to eat better and exercise a little bit more to counteract the side effects of the drugs.  Maybe that's why they use that term, obese, to just spur people to work harder to lose a bit of weight.

[HealingJourney]

Thanks so much for your response. My body has certainly changed many times for a lot of the reasons you've shared. 

Ive lost a lot of stamina and muscle during my depressive episode this past year so I'm hoping to rebuild that sense of physical strength and joy of movement without focusing on the numbers.

To tackle today's feelings, I ended up doing the following:

• Wrote on the concrete in chalk all the activities that make my body feels good
• Did a breathing exercise
• Had a cup of tea
• Walked my dog
• Took PRN

I'm feeling a lot better but I know it's a journey and there will be days where it feels overwhelming. I really appreciate the support of this community 🙏🏽

[HealingJourney]

Intellectually, I know that BMI is an arbitrary and not overly reliable measure but I just felt so shaken seeing it there when things feel out of my control with respect to weight. Appreciate you weighing in on this post (pun intended 😜)

[rav3n]

Love the things you've accomplished today @HealingJourney - haven't written on concrete using chalk in ages, love that idea!! 

What you mentioned makes a lot of sense, and moving that focus from numbers to more about strength and joy is amazing, looking forward to seeing how your journey builds 😊

[Dimity]

Hello @HealingJourney . Thankyou for raising this issue. It's all too often belittled or dismissed by people who don't understand the health implications.  I have the same trouble with bipolar meds. I'm bordering on obese, prediabetic, with high blood pressure and high cholesterol and triglycerides, and coronary heart disease.  21/2 years ago I did a free lifestyle intervention with Diabetes Victoria focussing on diet and exercise.  With monthly telephone coaching I lost weight, reduced my waist measurement, committed to daily exercise and reduced my fasting glucose. Unfortunately a few months ago other health problems stopped me exercising and now I'm back to square one. I'm trying to get back on track but it's difficult especially with physical limitations and pain. 

When I first embarked on the Life! program a forums thread Re: Walking for Wellness kept me motivated through mutual support. Another thread Diabetes and mental health has also been helpful. 

Forums policy mean we're not allowed to share quantitative details of weight gain or loss or details of exercise programs, which is a bit limiting for those of us who would like to discuss what we're doing and how we can help ourselves and others with these quite common challenges. It sometimes feels like another manifestation of stigma against our condition  but I understand it's there to protect people with eating disorders. 

Please keep in touch, and good luck.

@tyme @Shaz51 @Oaktree @SmilingGecko 

[HealingJourney]

Thank you for the support and kindness 😌

[HealingJourney]

I recently had diabetes testing and thankfully my glucose levels are within a healthy range. I do worry because I'm genetically predisposed to both diabetes and heart disease so I want to minimise those additional health risks. Thank you for sharing your experience. I've no doubt you'll find your groove again with the health regime you had going before.

[Shaz51]

hello @HealingJourney , how has your day been today my friend 

@MJG017 , @rav3n , @Dimity