My new partner is having a manic episode

[Futurefears]

Hi paperdaisy,

Thank you so much for your mediation and reassurance!

I do normally see a psychologist fortnightly, however, just as this all unfolded my subsidised sessions under my mental health care plan ran out!

I can now only afford to seem them monthly until next year when my plan renews.

Timing eh? 😓

[Daisydreamer]

Hi @Futurefears,

That's such a hard space to sit in when subsidised sessions run out, that's something so many people here can relate to That timing is hard! But there is help available, and I hope we can provide a few ideas to help you find the support you deserve. A few years ago I was in a similar situation when I was supporting a partner, and after a bit of research I found a few places that could help bolster up my supports after medicare subsidy ran out. 

I thought I might share a few I found helpful, I hope that's okay 🙂 

Relationships Australia were amazing. I was able to get individual counselling through them that helped my wellbeing, but also helped me when supporting a partner. They also reduced the cost so I only paid what I could afford to pay. 

The SANE Helpcentre can also be a great resource to help you between appointments if you need someone to talk to. Our counsellors bring such a wealth of experience in lots of different fields too 

Carers programs in each state (eg Carers NSW) can also help to link with in with free or subsidised support as you are supporting a partner 🙂 You can find a least of the state based services here.

These may not replace the relationship and support you get through your psychologist, but might be a good additional options to bolster your support network. Would you be open to exploring some additonal options for your support network?

I'm going to tag a few people who might also have some ideas about how to get help when mental health care plans run out

@Anastasia @Shaz51 @frog @BPDSurvivor 

[Anastasia]

Hello @Futurefears 

I commend you for reaching out for help. 

Thank you @Daisydreamer 🙏

I believe that the amount of visits in the mental health care plan have increased to now 20. Have you already had 20?

I think the Dr starts at 6 initially and then you go back to your Dr after the 6 and discuss progress and Dr can authorise more...

If you have used all 20 then you could look up healthdirect.gov.au/therapy

There are resources and supports galore that may be helpful...

Alternatively there's carergateway.gov.au

They provide support for "carers". They are based in NSW depending on where you are there should be one in your city too. 

I have contacted SANE a few times. Sometimes just to offload, other times to seek advice and avenues to seek specialised services that I have needed. I cannot speak highly enough of their support. The phone number is on their web page. 

Hopefully that all helps. I have more suggestions but that's a start hun. 

Happy to chat my time just the me with @ 

at the front of my name. 

Can I just say too that you matter, your decisions matter and you will make the right decision for you about this very difficult choice that you face 💞

[Shaz51]

hello and hugs @Futurefears 

going back to your first responds 

my husband has those diagnosis and he ended up in hospital after a mania and a breakdown 

he started news meds which takes time to work but did make a difference 

we still have lots of ups and downs daily but not what they used to be 

My husband was told to go on DSP but he said no 

and he did not want me to be his carer but his wife

to have set bounderies might be a good idea as you are young and you need to develope what you want to do also in your life 

My friends and family don't have any understanding of these conditions so I don't feel comfortable talking to them about it --- yes i feel the same and to develope a trust between you and your partner is soo important too 

@Futurefears, I really feel this is the start of your and your partners life , it may be a bit early to tell what is going to happen 

there will be ups and downs , and learning about what your partner has helps , what triggers him , when i see things that are heading down that way to try and stop it -- it is hard and to know when things are not quite right , to get him to ask for help 

my husband has cut his mental health team 

@Daisydreamer, @Paperdaisy 

[Owen45]

You are so lucky to be in a relationship, even it is difficult.  Relationships are the stuff of dreams for me, no hope. 

[adifficulthuman]

If they proposed those diagnoses so early on don't trust it. Diagnosing should take at least 6-24months to confirm. If he's been alright for three months it's unlikely to be BPD. Outcomes for people with Bipolar and Schizohprenia aren't what they use to be with the advent of new anti-psychotics plus an overwhelming majority don't experience repeat episodes. Find a psychiatrist that he feels comfortable with and who will take his history into account. Many disorders overlay that's why it's so vital to get a correct diagnosis. It's good to hear he's responding to medication but be mindful of oversedation and weight gain. Make sure you don't neglect your own mental health.

[AussieRecharger]

Hey @Futurefears .. One thing i can hear in your talking is a sense of commitment. I just want to point out that at no point should you take on the responsibility for someone else's life over your own.

I can hear your love for this person, but what I want to hear from you is your love for yourself.  What goals and aspirations do you have for your life? Will having this person in your life add to your goals and inspirations or will this person likely lead you to a life that does not fit your values. 

This is not about being a carer. You can get NDIS support and have carers etc, but if you planned to travel, if you planned to have kids and this lifestyle is genetically linked, do you think you will still be able to live your life with the values and social values that you want?

Please don't focus on what happened this month, as that has already passed.  Focus on how this has changed you and if it has changed you in a way that has made you a better person, and moved you towards what you want out of life. 

Good luck.