Not Coping

[Birdofparadise8]

Hey everyone how are you all? 

@RiverSeal @Shaz51 @NatureLover @tyme @Former-Member @Eve7 @Former-Member  @amber22 @Jynx @FloatingFeather 

I'm not doing great at all today. I'm feeling down. I also keep beating myself up for everything and feel like I'm just failing. I need a break from everything. It's getting so hard that I don't know how to keep going anymore especially since I can't talk to anyone around me as they are leaving me or don't understand. 

Hope you don’t mind me reaching out I just really need a chat and though I could come on here and vent and talk for a bit. 

Thank you

[tyme]

Hey @Birdofparadise8 ,

I'm here if you want to continue our game. I'm not sure if @Former-Member will mind. Have you been keeping tally of how many questions?

[tyme]

@Birdofparadise8 , oh, and of course I'm also here for a chat 🙂

[Birdofparadise8]

Thank you @tyme 

Not I haven’t kept tally. Why does life have to suck so much I do everything to feel better and I just end up feeling the same or worse. I just need all this to stop. 

[tyme]

I hear you on that @Birdofparadise8 .

I think I used to use all my energy on trying to feel better that I ended up feeling worse. It's more that I stopped trying to 'get rid' of the negative, and accept it, that it eventually disappeared. I'm not sure I'm explaining it right.

All my life, I thought I had to get rid of the 'bad' stuff. But through therapy, I learnt that this is not the case - rather, it's about learning to sit in the space of discomfort because it'll eventually shift.

What did you get up to today anyway?

[Shaz51]

Sending you lots of understanding hugs @Birdofparadise8 ❤

Sometimes it does feel like it is always going bad and to look for a positive through these times are hard 

Sitting with you and keep on keeping on  with me and @tyme 

[Birdofparadise8]

That sounds interesting but discomfort isn’t fun. @tyme 

I have made some cupcakes, had a chat to my auntie and wrote a letter for my cousin to discuss about the boundaries and how I feel. Besides that I haven’t done much I’m not bothered to do anything really. 

[Birdofparadise8]

I definitely feel like I’m going backwards. I definitely wasn’t suicidal or self harm three months ago and that all I can think about and the thoughts just don’t stop and make me even more worse. Thank you @Shaz51 

[tyme]

I'm sorry you are feeling this way @Birdofparadise8 ,

Yes, sitting in discomfort is NOT fun, however, this skill actually makes a difference. I can't even name it or anything... so it's hard for me to even look into it.

I just it defies what we instinctively do with something unpleasant i.e. push it away.

[Birdofparadise8]

Thank you the suicidal thoughts are terrible I just seem to get them out of my head like I try and push them away but that just makes it worse. I’ll ask my psych when I see him on Thursday about the discomfort.  @tyme