My special place

[Snowie]

Thanks @Ru-bee 

I know no one has a perfect life, it is simply not possible. Everyone has ups and downs. But sometimes it's hard not to think what would my life look like now if I hadn't been through what I went through, and still going through.

Even simple pleasures feels so far off. 

[Ru-bee]

I think it's completely fair to have times when we think about these things @Snowie maybe it's not 'productive' or 'positive', but I think it's a really human thing to do. I'm sorry that small pleasures feel unobtainable right now, when was the last time you can remember enjoying some simple pleasures?

[Ru-bee]

P.S. if I don't get time to respond tonight @Snowie I'll be sure to in the morning 

[Snowie]

It's ok @Ru-bee you don't have to respond, I understand.

I know I have those simple pleasures, they always seem to involve my kids. I guess that isn't a bad thing. But I'm lost to remember the last time I did something for myself. Yes I manage to have those few moments and just sit and have a cuppa, or pat the dog. I sometimes think it is a struggle to allow ourselves those pleasure. Takes too much energy, not deserving of it.

Maybe it's just in the too hard basket. Idk, not sure if I am even making sense to myself.

Maybe I'm just not worthy of anything.

Thanks

[Snowie]

@tyme I'll answer you here

I'm still having monthly ect.

Pdoc back next week. He will want to increase that, which will probably mean an admission.

[Shaz51]

sitting with you @Snowie ❤️

[tyme]

Do you think ECT is pretty much the only thing that will work? @Snowie 

I'm sorry this happens. I wish I could take the hurt from you. 

[Snowie]

Thanks @Shaz51 I hope you are going ok

@tyme I really don't know. In the past ect has helped, it has been about the only thing that did. It doesn't solve everything but at least it helps with my SI and SH. Normally it means having ect 3 times a week, so an admission is needed. I also think that the admission helps too. Having that time to focus on myself. Much harder now that I'm mums carer.

I've been doing emdr with my psych but she is going on leave for 6 weeks. 

[Snowie]

Thanks anyway, just going to go to bed

[tyme]

Chat soon @Snowie . Take care. I just hope you find some reprieve soon.