Lived Experience Forum

[SmilingGecko]

Hello @utopia I had abnormalities in my pap smear last year and my GP considered it an anomaly although she said she would push the referral through when I was ready.  I told her I had major houseworks which house insurance eventually would not pay for and covid was interrupting the process in getting the situation assessed by house inspectors, plumbers and geoengineers.  Its been a year ago and I can't afford to get the house fixed.  I know what its like feeling alone and unsupported. I too decided I would just let my health take its own course. It would be nice to think there was a caring partner but I've been solo for 12 years 🙁 and nothing has changed.  You may just be feeling triggered by things right now which is understandable. Being in your 50's living with a lifetime of mental illness is not a walk in the park. 

In solidarity,

S.G. 🦎

[utopia]

My GP has written a new referral to the Women's Hospital today.  As she said,  it's good there is no cancer,  but this is abnormal and needs to be treated. 

Bloated,  rock hard stomach,  an uncomfortable always feels full bladder, bad cramps and super heavy bleeds.  I feel miserable.  Suicidal thoughts as usual are running rampant in my head. (I have a 24 HR don't do anything rule - so I am OK).  Y Psychologist called me to see how my results went. We talked for 10 minutes and then I just hung up on him.  Everyone and everything is giving me the shits.  I am beyond irritable. 

I'm going to bed. 

[Former-Member]

Hi @utopia 

Just reaching out to you as it sounds like a lot of physical & mental anguish with you right now. 

I can understand also that feeling of irritability and sounds like you have something that might help with that - having some rest by going to bed?

Do you have anything later tonight that might also help through the night? Not that I’m asking you to ‘DO’ something but just wondering what types of things help when you are in this space?

And sometimes when people ask me that myself when I’m feeling similar inside it can make me more irritable, so I acknowledge that too - if that’s the case.

Walking always seems to help with me personally to expend some of that type of energy out which I feel in body, but I guess I’m just wondering if there’s anything that you’ve come across that works for you?

The forums community here are such supportive understanding folk so I hope you are not feeling alone in all of this.

Here with you - Flybluebird 

[utopia]

Have been feeling better emotionally today.  Sleep often helps me.  I seem to be able to focus on the issue,  on the facts better,  the day after sleep,  and no react so emotionally and out of control and doom and gloom. 

I spoke to my Psychiatrist today who said he is glad I increased my mood stabiliser to its original dose.  Although he is worried that if I don't start feeling back on track within a week,  he will add another medication to my list.  Hopefully I won't need that. 

I know i have to start working regularly again with my Psychologist to work on coping with the pain of my emotions.  And also,  getting back into the community now that Covid restrictions have reduced. 

So,  thank you to those who responded to my posts here.  Sometimes it is good for me to vent.  And it's nice to know that others on the forum can understand my fear and pain and behaviours.  Thank again. 

[Shaz51]

Here for you my awesome friend xxx @utopia ❤❤❤

[Shaz51]

Hello @utopia , how are you my friend xx 

[utopia]

@Shaz51  So so.  Some days good some days not great. 

I increased my mood stabiliser up to its original dose,  but then the Psoriasis it causes started spreading on my body.  So I've had to cut it back in half after just one week.  This is the lowest dose I can go on this med,  so I may need to find a different medication instead. 

Cos the Psoriasis is inflamed particularly on my legs/feet where I have been having nerve pain.  So it aggravates it. 

Hope you are well. 

[Shaz51]

Hope you find something that will help soon @utopia and will relieve it 

When do you see the doctor again xx 

Yes I am ok but the hospital wants to put in a av fistula in my arm this month ready for the dialysis machine in the future 

[utopia]

@Shaz51 . I talk to my Psychiatrist in half an hour.  Phone appointments only since Covid.  I see the Gynochologist at the Women's Hospital this Thursday. 

So when will you start Dialysis? Have they given you a date yet? 

[Shaz51]

No date yet for the dialysis @utopia 

Sitting with you my friend for this week ❤❤