I can’t cope

[AuntGlow]

Awww a Dino! That sounds so comforting @Captain24. 

A fuzzy, hot water bottle would be really soothing, I think. If you try it, please let me know how you go. 🥰

I am sending you lots of hugs right now... not knowing what it's like to be truly held and supported would make it hard to fathom. I am praying for you that people come into your life who can help to change this - because you do deserve it. 💛

[Captain24]

I didn’t sleep very well. I’ve been having weird dreams ever since I’ve been coming off one of my medications @Ru-bee. Hopefully I’ll be in a truck tonight that gives me some rest. 

[Captain24]

That sounds good if I wake up early enough tomorrow afternoon. @rav3n. But I’m hoping it will have all settled down by then. I do need a rest from it all. 

They just drive around for the sake of it. They always look for where people live or drive past their houses to see what’s happening. I’d be bored too. I don’t see the point in it. 

I can’t wear thermals as they irritate my skin. My skin is really sensitive. I break out into a rash so easily. I do wear a singlet and jumper though but that’s all I’ve got. I just freeze. If I’m in the truck that I’ve been in for a few days then I can just lay back my seat and have the heater on. If I’m driving around the heater makes me tired so I can’t have it on all the time. It’s pretty hard to juggle the cold. 

Anyway. I’ve got to get dressed and go. I don’t have enough service out there to respond so if you do respond, no pressure, I won’t get it until morning. Have a good night. 

[Captain24]

I’ll let you know if I remember to buy one @AuntGlow 

I don’t know if I can let anyone in close enough to share what’s going on and just cry. I do chat to a girl I met at hospital the first time I went in so I’m hoping to see her this time if she can come and visit but she gives the best hugs bug I wouldnt let her see me breakdown though. 

Im getting ready to head off to work so if you do respond I wont see it until the morning as I have no service out there. 

[Ru-bee]

Oh no weird dreams are no good @Captain24 

I hope tonight goes smoothly for you!

[rav3n]

@Captain24 yes, defs prioritise your rest! Ru-bee and I will be around on Friday as well so we can check-in with you then too. hopefully you'll feel a lil better and rested by then.

ohhh yep, i see... well i guess she enjoys it! not my thing tho, i'd be sad with losing my car fuel 😅

singlet and jumper is good! certain materials don't work for either, like certain polyester mixes just make me so itchy and worsens my eczema. i usually try stick to cotton clothes. wish there was a thermal alternative for ya. hopefully the heater in your truck helps a bit!?

take care, i'll chat to you soon 💙

[AuntGlow]

Please do. @Captain24 

I can imagine someone you met at hospital might really understand what you are going through? And potentially be a safe person to share this part of you with? But maybe starting with a hug is exactly what you need. 

How are your fur babies, by the way? I still see a little chihuahua in my future. 👀

I hope work goes well for you and you manage to stay warm - let's chat more tomorrow morning. 💛

[Captain24]

It was an ok night @Ru-bee. I didn’t do much but the time went quickly. Hoping for the same tonight. 

[Captain24]

Friday check in would be good. As much as I’m hoping to feel better I do struggle with coming off nightshift @rav3n 

I just can’t be bothered driving around. I drive to where I gotta go and home again. They always say to me ‘you know where such’n’such lives!’ I have no idea. I once told them I mind my own business not everyone else’s! 

It wasn’t as cold last night. The wind had a bite to it but it wasn’t what I was expecting. So that was good. Here’s hoping tonight is the same! 

[Captain24]

Yeah. She gets it. We do message often. I tell her a little bit but not all of it @AuntGlow. She has her own stuff going on. I know she would listen and want to know but I’m worried about being a burden to her. 

They are going well. Jett is struggling with the cold. He hates it and gets so cold so quickly but he is so little that there isn’t much to keep him warm. I do put a jumper on him if he gets too cold. 

Chihuahuas are awesome little dogs. They usually attach to one person. Plus they are so cute. They can be aggressive though. Pix has a note on her vet file to handle with caution! She hates the vets! Jetts good at the vets but bites peoples ankles when they walk past. He was in the pram one day and we were at Bunnings. One of the workers walked past and he bit her on the bum! He got into trouble but it was so funny! 

Im going to bed now. I might pop in between waking up and going to work. I can chat properly tomorrow.