I can’t cope

[Snowie]

Going to training today is an accomplishment within itself @Captain24 You are achieving something.

[Ru-bee]

Hi @Captain24 

It sounds like this health check is very confronting. What is the health check for?

Do you have any supports there with you?

[Captain24]

I’m not sure if you know where I work @Ru-bee. I work in a coal mine as a truck driver.

We are having a training day and they focus on health, physical and mental. It’s getting a bit deep. 

We are hopefully about to move on from it into other stuff. 

No.. there is no support. They push MH but don’t get it. 

I have to deal with on my own. 

[Ru-bee]

Ah, for work, okay @Captain24 

It certainly is going a bit deep. So many companies are like that, saying that they support their worker's mental health but then not having this inform their practices at all.

I'm here with you, I hope they move on soon

[Captain24]

Apparently we are done with MH @Ru-bee. But it has left me in a really bad way. I have to mask that I’m ok. It sucks. There isn’t anything I can do. 

[Ru-bee]

How long until the end of the day @Captain24? 

I know today's hard, I'm sitting with you

[Captain24]

Hopefully 1 1/2 hrs @Ru-bee.

I just want to get out. I’m starting to have an anxiety attack. 

[Ru-bee]

Are you able to step away @Captain24?

I know things that help me when my anxiety is rising and I need to compose myself is to splash myself with cold water. If I can't do that then doing a grounding exercise, really focusing on my 5 senses, or focusing on my breathing and maybe doing some box breathing helps to keep it from getting away from me.

Do you have any tools like that you might be able to draw on to get you through?

[RiverSeal]

I don't think it's about being a slow learner @Captain24 and sometimes it just takes a bit more and redoing things over and over. I have had to do that, and I still use prompts and look things up when I need to talk about them. When I do research, I save the bookmark and reread things over and over before it sinks in. 

Poor “executive functioning,” or understanding information and using it to make decisions is a symptom of schizophrenia which I'm diagnosed with, and I use this website to recall information Schizophrenia: Symptoms, Causes, Treatment, and Prognosis (healthline.com). As an example of how I manage not being able to do things that I have learned before. 

I do push myself every day, and I believe that keeps me on track because otherwise my negative self-talk slips in and I get ruminating thoughts. I often feel overwhelmed, but I keep going regardless because it motivates me to create change in my life. What works for me won't necessarily work for you and we all react differently to different things. I encourage you to do what works for you but identify what others do and take what you can and leave the rest. 

RiverSeal 

[Captain24]

I have come outside before I embarrass myself @Ru-bee. You be been and splash water on my face and I’m trying to breathe through it. 

Im just focusing on a spot on the wall and tuning everything out.