I can’t cope

[Captain24]

It was the other way around @tyme! It’s a huge relief. That’s why I have been stressing over it. 

Just getting ready for work. I really do not want to go. I’d rather be tied to a stake. Hopefully I get in trouble from last night and get sent home. But I wouldn’t be that lucky. 

[tyme]

Ooo. I hope last night was okay... obviously something happened. @Captain24 

Yes, I'm glad you are cancer-free. How stressful! 

What time do you leave? Hope your day today was okay. Are the dogs going to your mums?

Thinking of you.

[AuntGlow]

Good afternoon @Captain24,

YAY! I am so relieved to hear that you're okay. 🥹

I know you have work ahead tonight and that it's feeling a little heavy... I wonder what you could to ground and soothe yourself? Do you have any little comforts that may help throughout the night? 🫶

[Jynx]

@Captain24 fuming, just lost the post I'd written you and now I gotta go - but basically wanted to acknowledge the strength it took to be vulnerable, glad to know it's not all swirling around your brain, and that I hope your psych appt helps provide some relief. 

There was other nice stuff but now of course I can't remember. Haha like losing an essay you didn't save and suddenly you can't write anything as eloquently as you did before 🤣

Till next time hun

[EternalFlower]

@Captain24 enjoy the beach and that's great you can be in your happy place

hard that everyone has to scramble to find a doctor as there's not much local to you

i much prefer in-person sessions but telehealth enables a lot of ppl to connect in ways that keep them alive and mentally well - i like that you get to mix face to face with telehealth

my real gripe is telehealth with ppl i've never met - once i've been in their physical prescence i'm very happy to continue interacting virtually. 

[Captain24]

I’m gutted that you lost the post @Jynx. I cried all the way home from work. A few people acknowledged it or ignored it but no one talked me through it. I was hoping you would but I shouldn’t have put all my eggs in one basket. Sorry I left it to you. I won’t be sharing like that again. It was so hard and I stressed all day and didn’t sleep well and then I stressed all night. I’m suffering vulnerability hangover right now and hate that I did it. I feel really raw and exposed. I’m sorry that I rely on you so much so I’ll stop as you don’t deserve it and don’t need my stuff. I actually feel sick. 

Please take this with good intentions. I don’t know how to make it sound in a good light. But that’s what it is meant to be. 

[Captain24]

I get anxious when I go to see my psych in person. There is usually a screen between us and I can kinda hide. I do love seeing her though and the hug afterwards. It’s a big day but this appointment I have organised it a little better and will be able to sit at and walk along the beach after to wind down before the big drive home. She can read me really well whether it’s in person or on the screen. @EternalFlower 

My dietitian and my Pdoc are Telehealth and I have never met them. I use to doing it all Telehealth now and I’m ok with that. I wouldn't have any supports if I tried local. There is no Pdoc and psychs are limited with massive waiting lists. I use a squishy the whole of all my appointments. It kinda grounds me and keeps me connected. I know that doesn’t make any sense though. 

[Captain24]

Hey @AuntGlow.

I got through it and only got in trouble once and my response wasn’t quite as abrupt or rude. Now I don’t have to face that place until Friday. 

I was just wondering whether you read my post about how I have been feeling lately. It was pretty full on. Just because you said I had heavy feelings. Just wasn’t sure or whether it was just about not wanting to work.

[Captain24]

I know you don’t go back through and check but I thought I’d write this anyway just in the slim chance and so you didn’t think I ignored you. 

Yes I snapped at one of the supervisors. @tyme. I was pretty rude and abrupt but was only responding in the way I was spoken too. It really wasn’t nice and thought that I’d be dragged into the office last night. It was all ignored and my boss actually told the crew that they are able to do what I was abused over. So at least it has helped the others. 

I left at 5:30. That’s why I missed your post. 

Im not feeling real good right now. I feel very exposed and raw over what I shared yesterday morning. I was asked how I felt and answered it. 

Im going to do my washing and hopefully get some sleep. I’m pretty tired. 

[TunedIn]

Hi @Captain24 

It sounds like things have continued to be tough at work where you cried all the way home - that's no good🥀. I can also hear you were really wanting to be able to talk through your post and this has increased your feelings of vulnerability and question whether you should share your feelings. I wanted to say that it took courage 🦁 to open up - and whilst you might not have been able to process all your feelings in the way you wanted, your feelings matter!

TunedIn 🦋