I can’t cope

[Captain24]

Nah. No one to talk to @AuntGlow. You just have to grin and bear it. It’s what the place I work at is like. If you say anything everything gets worse. You’re better off just copping it. 

Last night was okish. I was left alone all night so that was good. I don’t have to go back now for 2 weeks. 

I have set myself up to fail today though. I have so much to do and have to try and get some sleep. I don’t think it’ll be much. 

[Ru-bee]

Hey @Captain24 just wanted to check in, hopefully you're sleeping now but I wanted to say good on you for getting through to this time off! I'd imagine it would be a relief to have these 2 weeks off, I hope they can offer you time to rest and reset a bit 

[Captain24]

Hi @Ru-bee 

Thanks for checking in. 

I was asleep. I’ve just woken up. I have so much to do. We are going away tomorrow. I have to finish packing, go and get fuel, wash the car and duck to the supermarket. 

Im suppose to go to the support group tonight but I don’t think I want to go tonight. I think it’s just too much to deal with. 

I just got a call from the gynaecologist they have pushed me in for an earlier appointment as it can’t wait until the regular waiting time. That’s a bit of a concern. 

[AuntGlow]

That's really hard. 😔 I can imagine that kind of environment would feel quite stifling if you are unable to share how you're feeling and being treated... @Captain24 

I am glad you are getting a couple of weeks off. I know you have things to get done and I am sure you will. But what would you like to do for you in this time? 🥰

[Captain24]

Definitely no sharing! @AuntGlow. That place makes me cry a lot. But in general I like my job just not everyday. I do shed a lot of tears over that place though. 

I still have a million things to get done in the next couple of hours. If I could just focus on the next task that would be good. I need the asd to take over not the adhd! 

We are going to the coast tomorrow for a week. So tomorrow night I’ll be walking the dogs on the beach. My happy place and Pix’s happy place. Not Jetts but he should enjoy running in the sand with mums dog. 

From Friday until Wednesday (weather permitting!) I will go to the beach in the afternoon to swim on my own. So it’ll be me time in my happy place. I only get an hour or so but it’s still time for myself away from mum and dad. 

How are you today? 

[Captain24]

I just have to have a shower and wash my hair and my million things will be done! @AuntGlow. I took adhd meds and that took the edge of it off! 

[tyme]

Howd @Captain24 . Have you had some big days?

[Captain24]

Hey @tyme!!! 

I’ve had three days and one night of shit days at work. Including lots of tears. Last night was okish but being left alone was good. Today I have finished packing, cleaned my entire house, changed my bed line and done 2 loads of washing and ironed everything! I’m just about to have a shower and wash my hair. 

So I have nothing to do when I get back just come into a clean house! Then all the washing of being away! 

I got a phone call from the gyno today. I have an appointment in 9 days. It’s marked as urgent so now I’m worried about that. I thought I had put it all behind me. The urgent is what has scared me. 

How have you been? 

[tyme]

Awwww. Sorry about the shit days. But then again, maybe we need some of these days in order to see the good days? 

I'm glad you got an appt. It's been a while. So what will this appt be? A consult or more tests?

Amazing work with all those tasks today! Wow! Do you think the sunnier days has anything to do with it? I find I have more energy with the sun. It'll be 31 degrees tomorrow so I'm looking forward to it.

I've got one more task on a sticky note that I'm working towards and hope to have done by tomorrow! Then I can focus on a few more projects at home. I've been working through these projects bit by bit. 

I'm just listening to the SANE OCD webinar at the moment 🙂 Not sure if you are too.

@Captain24 

[Captain24]

Maybe @tyme. But a few more good days would be so nice. Maybe if I get around to getting new glasses I’ll be able to see better and that might help. Don’t know. Maybe I’m just shit. Maybe the girl was right when she told me I was shit. 

I don’t know what it will be. The dr and receptionist have been away and only came back Monday. I said that I thought the wait list would be longer and she said ‘it is, this is urgent’ One positive is that the appointment is here and not 2 hours away like I thought. I get back from holidays Thursday afternoon and the appointment is 9:30 the next day.

I also think that I may have a sun cancer. I’ve got a red sore that started out like a tiny burn and it’s growing. Quite quickly actually. I see the dermatologist in just under 2 weeks so I guess I’ll find out then. 

I struggled a lot with today. I got home at 8 this morning and did stuff before I had a 2 hour nap and then when I got up I struggled. I couldn’t focus. I was just scattered. All the stuff I had to do was blurring into each other. I’d start one thing then go off and start another. Nothing got completed. Then I took my adhd meds this afternoon after so much mess trying to get shit done then everything fell into place! Oh I also got fuel and took my car to the car wash. 

Lets just say 2 hours sleep in 27 hours and doing so much, I'm a little exhausted! 

One more to go! Yay!!!! That feels good aye. I’m hoping you can get stuff done and you can tick your own projects off the list. Anything exciting that you are working on? 

Nah. Not listening to it. I was suppose to be at my support meeting but didn’t end up going.