I can’t cope

[NatureLover]

@Captain24  So sorry to hear how much you're struggling. Also that you couldn't sleep last night 😣

Also that your CM was no help and harsh in your appt yesterday. I'm glad she rang you back and acknowleged that. Also that you were able to be honest with her. 

Would it be so bad if you had to go to hopsital today? 

[Captain24]

I stuffed up really badly last night. I am feeling really sick today. I’m so stupid 

[lavenderhaze]

Hi @Captain24 

I am sorry you're feeling sick

Would you like me to email you privately?

Are you safe for now?

Here for you hun ❤️

[Captain24]

I feel really sick @lavenderhaze. It’s like my knees stop working and I nearly fall over. 

I’ve spent time in bed. 

[lavenderhaze]

Aw no that sounds tough @Captain24 

Is there someone you can call and share what's happening?

[Captain24]

No @lavenderhaze. I didn’t tell my CM how bad it was. I can’t tell her. I’ve let her down so much already.

I have to do this on my own. 

I wish it worked

[lavenderhaze]

I can hear how difficult it has been for you @Captain24 ❤️

You have shown so much strength in making it this far; and you haven't come this far just to come this far, you know?

I know each day might be exhausting right now but we're all here for you, sitting with you in this pain

You will get through this, we just need to have hope? 

Being honest about where you are at will never let someone down, it takes courage to be vulnerable and I can know that your CM will want to help you

[Captain24]

It feels too hard, to exhausting, to painful, no hope, no sense of self preservation. @lavenderhaze. 

TW: SI

Content/trigger warning

I’m lying in bed wondering if I try again would it be more successful this time.

At the same time I’m stressing that I have to go out to dinner tonight feeling like this. I have to put in that happy face. Eat my dinner even though my stomach is churning so bad. 

[lavenderhaze]

Oh @Captain24 

I can hear your distress 

I am so sorry you're feeling this way

How do you feel about calling a helpline if you feel unsafe?

I call them when there's too much on my mind

I know they cant solve anything but it's just good to get these feelings out and have someone listen ❤️

[Captain24]

I can give them a try later @lavenderhaze.

I have to some how get up the street and get stuff for work tomorrow. That involves having a shower. I can’t do much more than be in bed or sit on the lounge.