I can’t cope

[tyme]

Financials are tough @Captain24 .

I don't think anything is about 'fault', but more that we are all learning. If we can reframe that to "I'm learning", then the "fault" idea won't be weighing you down as much. 

There's a lot of change happening for you, so it's important you've got people to reach out to and connect with who can challenge some of these deep seated belief systems.

I believe in you and I know you can do it. It's a rough patch, but you are doing your best - you can't do any more than your best.

Do you think part of this is to do with returning to work?

[Captain24]

Nah.. it is my fault I feel hurt. I shouldn’t think that feeling good deserves anything. I had a really good day today and felt the best I have in a long time. @tyme. I have no one to connect with. It was here but I guess not.

Returning to work is scaring me. New medication that I don’t know how it’s going to work. The fact that I’m going back and know it’ll be hard to do. The early starts, the nightshifts, trying to sleep during the day when I don’t have my munchies med and the fact that I’m not sleeping well so how is that going to work. How will I function on nightshift? The long days and no down time. There is a lot

[tyme]

Yeah. It sure will be a transition @Captain24 . I hear that it can be anxiety provoking to have those thoughts.

I think for me, how I manage is that I work work work, and then I 'treat' myself to a holiday every 10 weeks or so - when the kids have school holidays.

In Sept, we are going camping again - for a week. So I'm looking forward to that. I'll be off the forums, but at least I can spend more time with the kids. I reckon I'll come back to the forums a bit lost though. Then again, I'm not overseas, so I can still have sneak peeks and visits to the forum 🙂

See how you and others are faring.

So maybe to go work and book in a 'break' as a goal to work towards?

[Captain24]

We’re going away in October so that hopefully will be good @tyme. I guess I can focus on that. I’m hoping the meds help with concentration while I’m there. I get stuck in my head a lot at work. 

I have a psych appointment tomorrow so just talking will hopefully help. 

A week with the kids sounds good. Not that I would enjoy camping!!! Of course you will check in. You can’t help yourself. 😜 

[AuntGlow]

We are here to listen without judgement @Captain24, but you never have to share anything you aren't ready to. ☺️

I understand how overwhelming those ebbs and flows can be... it's always a little disheartening falling flat after feeling good (you will absolutely feel this way again). 

It sounds like you're processing a lot at the moment - how can we slow things down, ever so slightly? 

And most importantly, how can you bring moments of self-care to the forefront this week? 💛

[tyme]

Yep! I can't help myself. FOMO!!!! @Captain24 

Can you listen to audio books or something in the truck? Or is that no good because you need to listen to the two way?

I'm about to clock off, but we can continue tomorrow. I'll be on in the late evening only for a few hours.

[Captain24]

It’s not you that I’m worried about it’s the other members that feel the need to comment @AuntGlow. Talking with you would be helpful in understanding. 

I think that maybe after the meds wore off this started to happen. I don’t know.. I’m still learning. 

There used to be no self care while I’m on the block of work. I’m not home long enough. It’s just work dinner then bed. 

[Captain24]

This is 100% me. Maybe both diagnosis is an accurate assessment.

 

[Captain24]

I’m not sure how I feel after my psych appointment. We talked a lot about how I’m still coming to terms with the ASD. But I can see a lot of it in my life now. She said that I’m still the same person that I always was it just explains why I feel different to neurotypical people. 

[Captain24]

Feeling really anxious about going back to work tomorrow. I’m feeling pretty flat. My period is due, whether it comes or not who knows. I don’t have the money to buy smokes so that’s a problem. I know it’s all my own fault. Just feeling it’s too much right now.