Lived Experience Forum

[tyme]

Awwww @Captain24 . Thank you for sharing this with us. I'm sorry this is so hard and you felt your CM was very harsh during your appointment. 

I'm glad to hear you were able to be honest with her and let her know this is how it affected you.

Did she work through safety planning with you?

[Captain24]

Yeah.. I was honest about how I felt. @tyme That is a big achievement for me as I just usually take it. 

I cried myself to sleep. I’m so tired and exhausted. 

We didn’t do any safety planning. I’m on my own. 

[Captain24]

I’m sorry.. It’s really hard right now. 

[Jynx]

@Captain24 you got nothing to be sorry for hun. It is absolutely a super challenging time for you at the moment and that deserves to be acknowledged. 

[Captain24]

It’s too much @Jynx. I can’t do it

[tyme]

Hey @Captain24 , sounds so hard. If you don't feel you can do it right now, what do you think you will do tonight? Will you call someone? 

[Jynx]

@Captain24 Perhaps focus on the little picture instead of the big? I can imagine looking at your path ahead it could feel very daunting, but perhaps focusing purely on tonight could help. What's left before bed? Shower, cuppa, anything like that? 

[Captain24]

Right now I’m struggling really badly @tyme @Jynx. 

The dogs can obviously tell something is wrong so they are really annoying me. I just gave them a bone each so they are happy and not fighting over me. 

Im trying to watch Masterchef through my tears. I just feel so broken and it’s my fault. I self-sabotaged myself. It keeps getting drummed into me. 

I can try for a shower when this is finished. 

It hurts so much

[tyme]

Who can you call tonight if things get really bad? You don't deserve to go through this alone @Captain24 

[Captain24]

All I’ve got is helplines @tyme.

There is no one in my life that I can call of a night for a chat. Idont really have anyone at all. That makes me sound like the loser I am