Lived Experience Forum

[Shaz51]

Hello and hugs @BPDSurvivor , @Faith-and-Hope , @Judi9877 , @BlueBay , @HenryX , @Oaktree ❤❤

[Judi9877]

Good evening @Shaz51 @BPDSurvivor @Faith-and-Hope @BlueBay @HenryX @Meggles @Jacques and everyone here! Thanks for the tag @Shaz51 ! Hello and hugs back at you as well🥰!

How have things been going in the world of BPD for everyone? Anything interesting to report? Have you managed to celebrate BPD Awareness Week in anyway by being creative and helping your wellbeing? I'm still working on my Mental Health Recovery Blanket and I also managed to get in a bit of crochet today on a blanket that I started in hospital as a break away from knitting all the time. Feel free to join in on the conversation! 

So today I finally had my precious psychologist appointment at long last after 3 long weeks, including 10 days after being discharged from PARCS and 33 days after being admitted to the psych ward. Anyway, let's just say it went really well and I'm so glad I caught up with my psychologist as now there are things he needs to follow up on from my hospital that are lacking in regards to post discharge support which he isn't happy about. To be honest, I felt like I was bursting at the seams to tell him everything yet there wasn't enough time to get everything I wanted ti say out if that makes any sense. Long story short, it was a really great appointment yet one I chose to follow up in an email later tonight to apologise for my behaviour. Let's just say the book 'So Much to Tell You' by John Marsden was so relevant to me today in the appointment with him and me it's not funny because I've been communicating with him via journaling and emails that when it came to physically talking, there was so much to tell him that I feel I made a mess of the appointment and was embarrassed by my behaviour in the end.

This is just me over analysing the event I know but I do believe it's part of my BPD and something I had to get out in an email and explain to him as justification for my behaviour. Does anyone else do this? Do you feel like you overshare and then feel embarrassed or guilty afterwards or even ashamed like I felt and hence, sent off the email which may or may not have been the correct way of dealing with the situation? Some advice would be much appreciated please!

Thanks for reading this post of mine! Have a great night! Take care and stay safe!

Judi9877☺️💐

[BPDSurvivor]

Hi @Judi9877 !

'Bursting at the seams' - I feel a bit like that. Do you think this is the beginning of your recovery journey so that now you move onward and upward?

I feel like I'm re-living the beginning of my recovery each time you post.

When I was at the point you are now, it was like my emotional being suddenly 'grew up' and I had a new lease on life. Do you feel that?

From this point, I had a few little hiccups, but I bounced back really quickly and kept moving forward so that I'm at the point I am now. Do you think it will be the same for you?

Im so glad to read your posts.

This week, I've really acknowledged so much of what I have. I've connected with my family a lot more, and I've also really taken time out for myself including registering for a short art course. I've had such happy and content days lately. I'm learning to care more for my own health and well-being.

Thank you so much for sharing your journey with us, and for also sharing my journey!

BPDSurvivor

[HenryX]

Hello @Judi9877 

and others visiting the thread

Your description of the way in which you addressed your discussion with the psychologist, and the follow-up and then the concern about it later, is a process with which I can completely Identify. Some of us can deal with a discussion and leave it at that, make a phone call and leave it as complete, perform an activity and then put the tools away and any thoughts are hung up with the tools and left there.

Others of us, possibly like you and me, worry and ruminate over all the ins and outs......, and the potential possibilities......, and............  Sometimes I think we just have to accept the way that we are. At the same time we can choose to make small meaningful changes in the way and the direction that we would wish to act and respond. In doing that much, I believe that we are really doing as much as we can.

We can also sit back and give ourselves credit for the small achievements and accept the rest. When it is all said and done, it is actually we who have to accept ourselves. Sometimes we try {so hard} to do the best we can to help others, even when they are assisting us, and also to help ourselves. There is a book, by a writer whose work I enjoy, the title of which is, "All You Can Do, Is All You Can Do. And All You Can Do Is Enough" or similar, written by a Jewish Rabbi. From recollection, the book suggests that we be at peace with ourselves and like and enjoy ourselves, just as we are, making adjustments as appropriate.

I am sorry that I could not find a reference to the book.

(It is not the reach a million $m income version by A. Williams)

I was reading today about "mindfulness" which is a concept or idea about which I am relatively unfamiliar. However, to briefly describe it, I understand that it is a way of being in the present, aware of our own space in the present. A way of separating ourselves from the frenetic activity that occupies much of our lives. I found the information to be quite interesting. What you have written and described, about your craft work, seems to relate to that process.

With My Very Best Wishes

@HenryX 

[Judi9877]

Hi there at @HenryX @BPDSurvivor @Shaz51 @Faith-and-Hope @BlueBay @Jacques @Daisydreamer and all forumites here. How are things going in the world of BPD? To be honest, my world is fun, interesting, chaotic, weird, bizarre yet enjoyable at the same time especially since my voices situation has eased. However, there are now more issues to contend with on the psychologist level- don't ask!

I'm Just popping in to show you my Mental Health Recovery Blanket that I completed the first section on Friday night. I'm really proud of it and am glad I spent time working on it and having something to do in hospital and at PARCS. 

I'll talk more later as I've got things on there need to be completed like a GP appointment and doing much needed uni studying that I didn't do yesterday!

Take care forumites!

Judi9877😎💐

[Faith-and-Hope]

Loooove the blanket @Judi9877 ..... so well

done.  I wouldn't have thought of those colour combinations and they work so well ❣️

[HenryX]

Hello  @Judi9877 , and @Faith-and-Hope , @BlueBay , @BPDSurvivor , @Shaz51 , @Jacques , @Daisydreamer

 and other visitors to the thread.

"

Great to be able to see the product and progress of the work of which you have spoken, The blanket reminds me of the coat of many colours. It will liven up any space in which it resides. The process of making the "Mental Health Recovery Blanket" seems to have been very useful, maybe stimulating in a way, but definitely a purpose and energy put to very good use.

"

Also really good to have been able to share some good news from you about how you have been feeling, dealing with the present and responding to issues around you and within. While you have referred to other issues, I love the way that you have described where you are at, as being,

"fun, interesting, chaotic, weird, bizarre yet enjoyable at the same time, especially since my voices situation has eased."

Very pleased that you have had some success in dealing with some other issues also.

"

Thank you for the lift of spirits.

"

Best Wishes

@HenryX 

[Shaz51]

love the blanket @Judi9877 

Hello @BPDSurvivor , @HenryX , @Faith-and-Hope , @BlueBay , @BPDCarer1 

how is everyone today xoxo

[BlueBay]

Love your blanket @Judi9877  It's beautiful 

Hi @BPDSurvivor  gee having BPD is so damn hard at times - just venting

hi @Shaz51 how are you today? how is your mum? 

hi @HenryX how are you and did you have a nice day?

how do you stop the negative horrible thinking in your head - i can see what they are after a long while but not straight away; always get so sucked into this vortex of negative emotions/behaviour and thoughts.

this feels like i will never get better from having BPD

people see me and they don't know i have BPD because I don't show them the true me

maybe they will hate me if they saw the true me

[Shaz51]

hi @Shaz51 how are you today? how is your mum? --- hello my sister @BlueBay 

today we have rested , i have played word games on the computer 

I am finding that i have to be careful with what i say ---- put my foot in it when my aunty was here having a cuppa with her sister 

but mum has forgotten already what happened , soo not bringing it up again 

@BPDSurvivor, @HenryX , @Faith-and-Hope , @Judi9877 , @Oaktree