Am Not Coping

[Faith-and-Hope]

Sounds like there is a whole lot of grief wrapped up in the mix too @Sam3.  Has grief counselling been part of your support ?  That certainly knocks the motivation out of most people for a while, and if it's multiple bereavements then it's a compound grief .....

Its good to see you here.

Hi @Zoe7.  Have you tried the new toothpaste yet ?

[Former-Member]

Hi @Sam3 ,

Thanks for the mention. We do moderate every post that comes through just to make sure the guidelines are kept to so that everyone can experience a safe place to share their experiences and support one another. That being said, us moderators are just like everyone else in this forum. We have our own histories and background experiences, which means that we all have a lived experience background to some extent. The hard part is that even with a lived experience, perception is reality and everyone's reality is uniquely theirs.

I think it is normal at times to have an internal conflict taking place. To want to change your habits or life so badly whilst feeling completely unmotivated or unable to. The weight of depression and bereavement can be very heavy.

Please remember to be gentle on yourself.

Take care,

Radius

[Sam3]

That conflict you mentioned is insightful thanks @Former-Member but as I say I'm discovering I'm not willing to even try to change anymore, even for the sake of my children it seems. My memory & cognition is rubbish & has been for years which makes learning & doing stuff with the kids actually embarrassing. I know I'm being selfish & petulant & in for a rude shock when I'm forced by circumstances to change a bit. I feel like I've never really grown up & stood on my own two feet .. and clearly I'm still not interested. 

Thanks @Faith-and-Hope I had counseling when I was pregnant & my parents were dying but it seems I just haven't been able to maintain any adjustment. 

As a complete aside, my son reminded me to look for a large star-like mass in the sky tonight (Jupiter & Saturn) but we couldn't see it. 🤩

[Faith-and-Hope]

We were looking for a meteor shower the other night @Sam3, but couldn't find it ..... didn't help that half the sky was covered in cloud.

[Snowie]

Good morning @Faith-and-Hope @Zoe7 @Sam3 and anyone else around.

Hoping your day goes well and you can find some 'me' time in there.

@Zoe7 hoping your pj day goes well hun 💜💜

[Zoe7]

Still hurts when I eat or drink @Faith-and-Hope but not as much pain other times so it must be working a little bit. Still having pain meds too so the combination of those and the new toothpaste are helping now. 

@Snowie It is raining today so a great day for a jammies day. I have slept on and off all morning so far and that is likely to continue during the day - soooo tired. Planning on watching more of my series online today and doing nothing else 👍

@Sam3 Hon you are one of us too - we all have bad days and days when we cannot see any hope or future and also feel like we are failing at things. Depression is super hard especialy when we have families, friends, work that we have to also deal with along the way ...but you are doing that in your own way. The fact that you continue to work with depression is amazing - I know how hard it is to get up every day and fulfill that obligation so give yiurself credit for doing that becuse that really is something.

As for wanting to give up and nothing sufficiently motivating you - so many of us have been there too Hon - it is a super hard place to be  I am not going to pretend all is going to be okay right away but there is hope - it takes a lot of work and a lot of those darker days to navigate and work through. I have been where you are many times but the support I have had has helped me get through those days so we are now here to support you and hold you up when you feel you cannot do that yourself. You are by no means unworthy of that support - quite the opposite Hon - when we are at our lowest is when that support is most needed - and we happily provide that because you both need and deserve it. No-one here deserves that support anymore or any less than anyone else - yes we all have our own challenges but it is because of those that we can be here for each other - that understanding and empathy for your present situation is exactly why we want to provide that support to you - you are worthy and you matter @Sam3 and we will ride these waves with you 

[Sam3]

Wow @Zoe7 that is an amazing response thank you (& I'm actually feeling brighter today btw). How is your pain today? And your sisters gorgeous kitten? Just have to finish my lunch break but want to thank you again @Zoe7 @Snowie @Faith-and-Hope @Former-Member @Owlunar 

[Owlunar]

Hi @Zoe7 

That sounds so much like the tooth ache I had a few years ago  - wear and tear on the tooth from stress related grinding and it was so painful  - I remember. I am glad you are having some relief already and I  hope it's completely cured asap 

Tooth ache is so hard to manage  - I am glad you don't need anything done though but tough waiting for the toothpaste and painkillers do the trick 

AndI  read that little Cat has to have chemo  - poor little furball and tough for you too 

And you Mum has a broken hip  - what a tough time for your family 

What can I say?

Dec

[Zoe7]

It is heartwarming to hear you are feeling bit brighter today @Sam3 That is the eb and flow of depression too Hon - we have our good and not so good days - the trick is rifding out those not so good days ...which you have done. It is not easy when we are going through those darker days but getting through them is an achievement in itself. Do something nice for yourself to celebrate that.

@Owlunar The fracture is in Mum's femur. She did it the day after her hip replacement surgery so that is putting back her rehab for that. It is all toomuch for her at the moment but there is nothing she can do but rest and let it heal then back to physio later in January.

Cat's chemo treatment is easy - a chemo tablet every third day and another one everyday. So far it is working to keep the cancer at bay. She has to have regular blood tests and ultrasounds 3 monthly but she is healthy and happy at present so it all is worthwhile.

The toothache is excruciating at times - and it is more than one tooth - but the constant pain has reduced a little today ...enough to be bearable. Yesterday the whole side of my face ached through to my ear and eye and that is better today.  Still can't eat or drink without pain but hoping that improves with more applications of this new toothpaste. I also need to get a spray rom the chemist to help but cannot afford that until tomorrow.

[Faith-and-Hope]

Got to cuddle my grandbaby today ...... 💞💖💕