Your feedback needed: Updating our Community Guidelines

[Zoe7]

I absolutely agree @Dimity The underlying messages are sound in most of the new worded guidelines but the tone and negative slant needs addressing. 

[Dimity]

@Zoe7 I think I queried some of the messages...

[Zoe7]

@espressologic I echo @NatureLover and @Dimity suggestion to pin this to the home page so more members can see it.

[Zoe7]

Yes @Dimity I agree with your queries. I have been looking at the present guidelines and the revised guidelines - there are some glaring ommisions as well as a lot of 'extra' wording that is not necessary. When I have finished I will tag you as I would love to hear your views further. Give me a couple of days 👍

[Dimity]

Thanks @Zoe7 I'll look forward to your appraisal

[Zoe7]

I will be really interested to have your views on board too @Dimity 🥰

[Appleblossom]

Really resonated with these comments @Dimity @PinkFlamingo @NatureLover @Zoe7 @espressologic 

brought up similar points in the past 

best the forum keeps some transparency and open dialogue and discussion 

yes language use is important… inclusivity and safety can be tricky to negotiate in this diverse world 

moderators need to be open minded rather than policing.

Thanks for trying 

[espressologic]

Hi everyone, thanks for the great feedback so far. We are working on getting this thread pinned in a more prominent place today.

I'll clarify a few points raised so far about the intention behind some of the guidelines:

No self-promotion (research): the intent here is to stop the forums being flooded by researchers promoting their own studies, not to prevent members from sharing studies that they have participated in.

Avoid repetition/rumination: the intent here is not to stop people from discussing ongoing conditions or symptoms, or denying that recovery is non-linear, but to address issues where some members have posted identical or very similar messages on a daily (or sometimes multiple times daily) with no new information or context. These posts are often reported to us by other members who find them distressing or are frustrated that their helpful replies don't seem to be having an effect. We hope that the forums can be a space that help people move forward on their recovery journey, rather than enabling them to stay 'stuck'.

Fair discussion (naming of services): this is an update of an existing guideline about repetitive criticism of services. On a busy forum such as this, it is too difficult for our moderators to define 'repetitive' as it would require them to go back and review posting histories, so we are proposing changing this to not naming services at all. We encourage general discussions about difficulties people have had with services, but complaints about specific services should be taken up with the service itself, or the appropriate state-based agency. The intent here is not to stop people from naming national services or evidence-based apps that might be helpful for members to try.

Tone: it is a tough ask to write guidelines that are clear, concise and positive when a lot of the things we need to include are about setting limits and rules. I appreciate that a lot of "don'ts" can be alienating. Looking forward to further feedback on how we can 'split the difference' between emphasising what is desired vs. what not to do. I'm sure we can also find a space for explaining why guidelines are in place also.

[NatureLover]

Thank you for clarifying, @espressologic ! 🙂

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@espressologic wrote:
Fair discussion (naming of services): this is an update of an existing guideline about repetitive criticism of services. ... The intent here is not to stop people from naming national services or evidence-based apps that might be helpful for members to try.

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I wonder if the proposed new guidelines could be amended to say something like, "No complaints about any services"?

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@espressologic wrote:
Avoid repetition/rumination: the intent here is ... to address issues where some members have posted identical or very similar messages on a daily (or sometimes multiple times daily) with no new information or context. These posts are often reported to us by other members who find them distressing or are frustrated that their helpful replies don't seem to be having an effect. We hope that the forums can be a space that help people move forward on their recovery journey, rather than enabling them to stay 'stuck'.

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I wonder if you are talking about SH and SI here? 
I know that people with BPD do experience SI on a daily basis, sadly, as part of the condition. Plus other very helpful, caring members do also - members who are accessing help in the forum of meds and many types of therapy. I wouldn't want to make these members feel that they could no longer write about their distress - effectively placing a 'gag' on them. Would you be able to clarify further? 

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@espressologic wrote:
No self-promotion (research): the intent here is to stop the forums being flooded by researchers promoting their own studies, not to prevent members from sharing studies that they have participated in.

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I understand. I see now that they way you have listed "research" under "No self promotion" makes complete sense - sorry I didn't pick up on earlier! 

Thanks again.

[espressologic]

Hi @NatureLover, I was thinking about this after posting yesterday.

We don't want to stop people from posting about distress, including feelings of self-harm and suicide. 

What is important when posting about these topics is to give the community something to work with in supporting you. This could be either:

(a) Including some detail about self-soothing or distracting techniques that you've already tried today, or intend to do later

OR

(b) Asking the community for suggestions about what might help

For example:

"I’m just so tired of feeling this way. Every day feels exactly the same, and it’s like nothing I do makes any difference. I've been trying XXX today but it hasn't been helping as much as it normally does.  Looking for some new ideas I can try."

If posting about feelings of suicide, it's also important to let the community know that you're safe and not intending to act on the feelings (otherwise we will worry!).  If you are struggling to contain the urges, then we would ask that you contact crisis services and not post on the forum because we can't provide immediate support here.