Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Faith-and-Hope]

NPD mirrors some of the same characteristics as the other diagnosis we have within the family, but although they might look similar at first, they are not the same at all.  One operates on a hidden malicious intent, and can stay that way for a long time if the relationship dissonance, chaos and confusion it causes can be kept at a low enough level, or passed off as belonging to another problem or illness .....  such as an eating disordered dynamic ..... or masked by work absence ....  or obscured by triangulating other people into the relationship .....

✅✅✅✅✅ .....

[Former-Member]

I think Bipolar can sometimes show some of the same behaviours and characteristics as NPD @Faith-and-Hope . Is that what you are referring to when you say there is already a dianosis within the family?

Certainly someone with Bipolar can at times display some seemingly narcissistic behavior.

Really sorry you have to go through all the legal hoops involved. Must be so so hard, knowing what you do, but being unable to prove that to anyone making decisions. I guess without a formal diagnosis, there is little chance of convincing anyone.  Is your therapist able to advise you?  You had been seeing someone weekly in The East, but I suppose thats at least 2 months ago now, with you being away. And a lot has emerged since you would have last seen her. How long before you are Easterly again? And are you able to talk to your therapist via phone or email? Could be worth doing.

Sherry

[Faith-and-Hope]

Hi @Former-Member ..... it’s not Bipolar that I am referring to.  It’s a different personality disorder that I don’t want to name on this new thread T the moment, but thank you for letting me know.  It really helps with empathy to recognise features of a condition, ordinarily ..... but I think NPD is a whole category of its own 😖🙁😔

[Smc]

@Faith-and-Hope, yep... and because it involves presenting a "wonderful" facade to the world in general, NPD is notoriously difficult to get a diagnosis for. Particularly in this era of psychological counselling being an individual exercise. An astute psychologist could more easily recognise NPD if they had the option of also counselling those close to the person in question, both with them and on their own. It's a disorder that seems to have a more visible affect on those around them than the person who has it... which can facilitate offloading the problem as "her problem, not mine".

One sad thing that I'm thinking... eventually the new object of "affection" will lose her shine, and quite probably come under attack. At which point Mr. may "forgive" you and decide to give you a second chance. On his terms.

Hope I'm not being too blunt here. We were pretty badly burnt in our NPD encounter, then had the hard thing of knowing someone else was caught up in the beginning of the same cycle, but likely to suffer even more harm than us. We had a front row seat for some of the aftermath part of the cycle. Not pleasant, and in some cases, never really "over".

[Faith-and-Hope]

It has been a really horrible realisation @Smc, with relief in the mix, because the clarity that has come with it has relieved some of the confusion, and created almost instant emotional distance.  I am aware that they can try to double back.

i am sorry you had to go through all of that, and sorry for myself for what is ahead of us yet .....  it there will be blessings tied up in it, as there have been even along the path to where we are now.

i am a joy-seeker, and that has a power of irs own too.

[Former-Member]

@Faith-and-Hope 

I once felt I needed to lodge a complaint. Prior to doing so I did research and watched some YouTube videos on conflict resolution which really helped me focus on keeping things factual.

[Faith-and-Hope]

Thanks @Former-Member.  I have techies and legal-eagles helping me work through it, but it’s good to know and I value your advice.

[Former-Member]

👍 @Faith-and-Hope 

Will say nothing further 🤐 about the matter.

On a lighter note I tend to use this term rather than the one you used:

[Faith-and-Hope]

😏

Please do keep speaking up with your observations @Former-Member .... we all need co-drivers in life, and I value your advice.

[Former-Member]

@Faith-and-Hope Having been  a recipient of unhelpful "helpful" advice :face_with_rolling_eyes:, am trying to avoid handing it out myself.